Lingering Curiosity
by Seta Suzume
Summary: A sequel to "Porcelain Doll & Mirror Image." Sasarai meets Sarah again and learns a little of her story.


Lingering Curiosity

by Suzume. (written March 27- April 29, 2009)

Something of a sequel to "Porcelain Doll/Mirror Image."

Dedicated to Myaru.

"One of my photographer buddies out near Campanella sent me some shots of the streets that I thought you might like to see," Teodor passed an envelope across the table to his fellow Counsel member.

Sasarai opened the envelope and looked at the sepia-toned photographs one at a time. The quality of the images was not especially high, partially as a result of the fact that many of the people captured in the marketplace did not know they were being photographed and had not stayed still. These scenes from Campanella could've been from any part of the country. Merchants hawked goods to discriminating men and women carrying bags and baskets, some accompanied by curious or even mischievous children. They were all people he'd never met before, just random citizens going about their- no, wait, he knew her. Sasarai stopped and examined the face of a pale woman shown holding an onion. She had thick blond eyelashes that shaded her eyes like wisteria blossoms dangling from a trellis. He had only met her once before. She worked for that enigmatic masked bishop who had only recently been ordained to the post of Campanella but was already attracting more than his fair share of attention. They had met at a small party on St. Arthur's Day. She seemed to be a quiet and cool person. He liked her sense of style. Her name was Sarah.

"You like something about that picture?" Teodor inquired. He had been watching Sasarai's reaction to each of the shots and knew that this extended gaze obviously meant something. He leaned forward a bit to see which picture it was. "You can keep it if you like. I don't have any special need for it."

"Are you sure? Thank you." Sasarai looked at the photo again and felt so pleased by his recognition of the woman that he had to share the discovery with his friendly acquaintance. He turned the picture around in his fingers so it faced Teodor. "I don't know, perhaps you've met her too, but I actually have briefly encountered this young lady. We danced at a party together."

"Why, what's this?" Teodor laughed, "Bishop Sasarai collects photographs of pretty young ladies he's seen at parties? When this gets out it'll be all over the rumor mill as quick as you can say, 'scandalous!'"

The blond priest kept his eyes perfectly innocent as he teased, leaving Sasarai to shake his head and chuckle just slightly. "Seems everyone is always trying to find me a wife. Well, to be entirely sincere, I would like to meet her again, but it's far too soon for any rumors to circulate."

"When you're as known as you are, Sasarai, it just happens," Teodor informed him with the calm of an expert. His wife's unfortunate career had taught him at least that much.

"Sasarai, you're going on a trip, right?" Hazel asked, hesitantly hovering in the doorway of the bishop's office. It was a mess. Sasarai's worn-out book bag from his schoolboy days was tossed on the desk, overflowing with papers and maps, yet he kept trying to stuff more in.

"Um, yes, but it'll just be to Campanella and Han'Nyac for a couple of days. I'm making preparations for the invasion and just stopping by to see a few friends while I'm there." He tied the top of the bag down and frowned at its bulging shape. This just wasn't going to work.

"Then can you sign this mobilization order before you go?" the longhaired priest smiled, trying to make the distasteful job more palatable to his colleague. It was no secret that Sasarai had mixed feelings about taking these troops into the Grasslands. He would've preferred a more covert operation. Hazel didn't like trouble, so he hoped Sasarai would just sign the paper without a fuss.

Fortunately for Hazel, Sasarai complied without so much as blinking. His mind was too preoccupied with the young lady he was hoping to see in Campanella (and then there was the matter of getting his papers together to deal with). The night before, while dining with Lucas Orsini, he had remembered some of the things they had spoke about at the party. She seemed to be a sad but simple person. While Sasarai stared off into space, Hazel slipped away quietly.

His strangely lovesick air was apparent to his assistant as he set off for Campanella by carriage later that day. He was so lost in sweet daydreams that he nearly left his valise sitting by the Temple gates. He did forget his bookbag (at that very moment it lay stuffed full of papers on his bed). He wondered if Sarah would he happy to see him again. Would she still seem so sad? ...Such a gentle person deserved more happiness that that. If it were as a result of her employment by the masked bishop he would be sure to offer her a position with him instead. His staff difficulties in Higheast a few years back had taught him that it wouldn't hurt to have a few more good people on hand.

It took over a week to reach Han'Nyac. The quiet trip gave him plenty of time to think. Serious thoughts, frivolous thoughts, unanswerable questions, memories, daydreams- they all fought for a bit of his time. It was just Sasarai and the carriage driver, Joanella. They barely spoke. Joanella had a painful speech impediment. Sasarai didn't mind the silence.

And when at last he stepped out into the streets of Han'Nyac carrying his book bag over his shoulder, a ridiculously wide smile spread across his face to see that a small group had gathered outside the cathedral to greet him- Bishop Tjasse and several of his staff members, Caleria's Chief Inspector Bishop Brown, and, most surprisingly, Sarah.

Later he hoped that no one had been offended by the way he had headed straight toward Sarah, completely ignoring the more important figures on the steps. "Sarah! Why are you here?"

He was happy to see that she smiled a little as well. "My master sent me ahead to meet you here. He didn't think it was necessary for you to actually come to Campanella to take care of anything there. He's making sure everything proceeds smoothly and he thought I could fill you in on the details."

"Oh, I see. That's fine. ...To tell the truth, the one I really was hoping to see was you anyway."

"A-hem!" Bishop Brown cleared his throat noisily, clearly deeming Sasarai's behavior at least somewhat unseemly.

The scrutiny of his western colleagues slightly cooled Sasarai's enthusiasm during his visit to Han'Nyac. Tjasse, only several years his senior, was one thing, but Bishop Brown's objective eyes were another. Unlike Sasarai's obvious display of preference outside of the cathedral, Sarah showed her usual restraint. She had nothing to be ashamed of. She hung back silently with Tjasse's Jek and Arsa while Tjass displayed topographical maps of the Grasslands, marked supply lines, and commented with his own suggestions for troop formations. Bishop Brown did his best to familiarize the still-distracted Sasarai with some key facts about the larger tribes of the Grasslands as well as the mantor riders from Le Buque who would be involved in the operation.

The meeting broke up over lunch. A message arrived from one "Heisuah ben Siora" ("An Arradian?" Sasarai wondered) and Bishop Brown left for Caleria in a bit of a hurry.

Tjasse picked at the lunch a subordinate had made for them. He couldn't say he agreed with the chef that Koliere pickles went well with rice omelets.

Sasarai and Sarah didn't think the rice omelet seemed like a standard meal in the first place. With slices of green bell pepper and bright red chili pepper in it, it was hot enough to leave Sasarai gasping for a second glass of water. "Just because people in the west have access to all these spices doesn't mean they have to go crazy with them," Sasarai thought, wishing it wouldn't be so impolite to ask for something else.

Although Sarah wasn't entirely sold on the dish either, it was Tjasse's lingering gaze that bothered her more than the spices. The thing about Sasarai's attention was that it appeared innocent. He hadn't known her in the past. He had no memory of her time in Olia's grasp, or at least was unaware she was the same person as that pale little girl. Tjasse, on the other hand, might make the connection. As Olia's former student, Tjasse, along with her other protégés, Hazel, Ket, and Raymond, had interacted with Sarah from time to time and had been privy to many of the details of the lady bishop's projects concerning magic and the technology of the Sindar. And Tjasse was not forgetful, love-struck, or stupid. Sarah hoped that acting calm would not look so different from being calm.

"Have we met before?" Tjasse asked her suddenly. "What part of the country are you from?"

She tensed, squeezing the fork tightly between her fingers. "I was born in the far Northeast." That was true. "But I'm certain we've never met," she lied.

"Hmm. Yeah, I can't say I've seen much of the Northeast myself- Western born and bred, you know."

"I knew this was a bad idea," Sarah thought somberly. She had expressed some apprehension in her discussions with Luc and Albert prior to leaving for Han'Nyac. While both men had listened to her concerns, Albert had been incredulous that anyone aside from Olia herself would recognize Sarah after all these years. Luc was gentler in acknowledging her fears, but his desire to keep Sasarai from poking around in his own affairs ultimately led to his decision to send Sarah south to Han'Nyac.

"I like the Northeast," Sasarai stepped in.

Sarah exhaled slowly. He had no idea what he'd done for her. At least for the moment, the pressure was lifted.

"Actually, if you don't mind my saying so, I prefer it to this dry strip of dust you call the West," Sasarai laughed jovially.

"You're a real honest scoundrel, you know that?" the Westerner scolded him. In Sarah's opinion, he was only half amused by Sasarai's remark. Any criticism of the western region struck a little too close to home for a man who was constantly identified among his fellow bishops as "Sunheibou" for his western blood. Sarah couldn't say she knew how it compared to other countries, but Harmonia certainly was a different place to live for anyone outside of the mainstream, and Tjasse, no matter what his mother's heritage led the others to believe, was Harmonian to the core.

"At least I'm sincere," Sasarai shrugged, seeing only the blossom and not the bristle in Tjasse's words.

A servant, specifically a maid, of the episcopal household, came to pick up their plates. She offered to bring some tea and cookies to finish off the meal, but Tjasse turned down the offer. Sasarai was disappointed- sweets and tea numbered among his many weaknesses and a bit of treat like that would've gone a long way toward wiping away the memory of the overly spiced meal.

"Sasarai, you'll come with me to Caleria this afternoon, won't you?" Tjasse spoke again, trying to forget his annoyance and return to the business at hand. "It's going to be our initial base of operations, you know. The lifting off point for our invasion. Amika- I think she's one of Olia's people, like your Nash- has gone ahead as far as Zexen to scout things out for us."

"Is Sarah going down to Caleria as well?"

The dark-haired westerner looked at her. "I don't see any need for it. She might as well stay here for now."

That statement swayed Sasarai's mind. "Why do I need to go do there then? It's just to show me what you're accomplished so far, right? You and Rimini and our masked colleague."

"But, since you're going to have such a vital role in this venture," Tjasse protested.

"I don't need to go there." Sasarai was firm on this point. "I'll see Caleria soon enough as it is. Why don't you go down there as my representative and make sure everything is going according to schedule and then report back to Han'Nyac and tell me about it?"

Tjasse pushed back his chair and stood up. For a moment Sarah thought there would be an outburst over Sasarai's suggestion. It was a bit arrogant to suggest that a man who was his equal as a Counsel member and leader of one of the nine major regions do anything as his representative, but Sasarai had said it anyway.

The fire in Tjasse's eyes fizzled out quickly. He sighed and shook his head. "Fine. Do what you like. I have appointments to keep." Without another word he left Sasarai and Sarah alone in his personal dining room.

Sarah wasn't sure what to make of the whole thing. Until this point, Sasarai had seemed quiet and modest, but he obviously had some of the arrogance she had seen in most of the other bishops as well- perhaps all but Markley. She would've hated to admit it, but Luc had it too. In his current circumstances it remained something of a blessing, since for all his years away under Leknaat's tutelage, he fit in perfectly among his colleagues.

"...Do you two have some history?" Sarah asked at last, realizing that as she pondered Sasarai had turned his gaze from the direction of Tjasse's exit to her solemn face.

"Well, not especially. I've known Tjasse since my student days, but we've never interacted much. Until recently, he'd been too close to Olia's faction for my taste anyway."

"He's...shifting sides?" It was her own history that caused her curiosity more than any cares about Harmonian internal politics.

"It's been a gradual thing, as far as I can tell. When he began to stop rejecting the west and accept it instead, he had to change some of his policies. This region has a bad track record of short-serving bishops who don't deal with the area's own peculiar problems effectively. ...Up near Campanella's a bit better, right? Well, it's not the seat of the region, anyway, so I suppose that helps."

"That's right. Campanella is a quiet place." And she appreciated that. It was easy to stay out of the spotlight there. Somehow Luc and Albert had managed to find the perfect place for Luc to make the first steps toward his goal.

"Pardon me if I'm wrong- and if it's something you don't want to talk about anyway you don't have to say- but I got the feeling that you know Tjasse already and you didn't want him to remember you."

She was startled slightly. Sasarai was sharper than she gave him credit for. "...You're not completely off base." She would never have admitted unprovoked, but his cautious smile was leading her to let down her guard. It was no secret that he was charmed by her. And the attention was encouraging. ...If only Master Luc would look at her that way... She could picture exactly how the same sort of low-key smile would spread across his identical face. "I was...acquainted...with Lady Kaeyani in my youth. I don't look back on those days fondly."

"I don't think anyone who had the misfortune to be acquainted with Lady Kaeyani in her youth looks back on it fondly!" Sasarai teased.

"I get the impression you're on the mark again." Of course, while she couldn't speak for Olia's students, she had a feeling they couldn't entirely disagree with his statement. There were better ways to spend a childhood.

"It was more than that for you, wasn't it? You're from the northeast. Olia couldn't have been just some friend of your parents." He still sounded friendly.

She paused. Was he acting or sincere? No matter what he said, he always sounded sincere. What did she want then? That was simpler. To speak. She would weight the situation. This wouldn't endanger Master Luc's plan, would it? As it only concerned her own past, she hoped it wouldn't. Just as she had yearned to tell the late Bishop Markley her story when she sat by his bedside, she now longed to open her heart to Sasarai. But Sasarai was different from Markley- he sensed the hurt within her, and he might live to tell about it. Still... "Yes," she answered in a whisper.

The intensity in his eyes increased, but in all other respects he remained calm.

"I don't feel comfortable talking about it here," Sarah explained, eager to continue her tale after feeling the release of the initial confession, "Is there a place you planned on staying in the city?"

"Hmm, well, funny you should ask," he tapped his boot against the valise to indicate its presence below the table by his feet. "I was hoping the good Bishop Tjasse would put me up for the night and I'd go to Campanella in the morning. I can tell that obviously won't work for you. ...and after my little exchange with Tjasse just now, I'm not sure it'll work for me either."

He really did have a sense of humor. Sarah didn't laugh, but she did smile. She liked how easily he shared his full range of emotions with her. Luc was very closed off in comparison. It grew tiresome having to do all the work in connecting their hearts. "I don't have any firm plans either. I didn't know if I'd be returning to Campanella before night or staying here." While it was true, Sarah felt no need to point out that if she were going home she planned on speeding her way with a teleportation spell, so if need be she could head off at a moment's notice.

He nodded, not surprised by her situation. Things could be a bit messy before all the participants in the invasion were officially assembled. There had been some last minute scrambling before the failed reconquest of Higheast as well. (There had been some last minute scrambling _during_ the effort as well, but that was another matter entirely...) "Then it might just be best if we take a stroll and look for some place private to have this talk. I know a lovely teashop by the seminary- I think they lend out a few room on the second floor."

"You really want some tea, don't you?" His earlier disappointment had not passed her by.

"Heh heh," he chuckled sheepishly, standing up and lifting his valise off the floor. "Well, you might as well learn about that now before you're in this too deep."

"In what?" she asked, knowing very well that he wasn't referring to anything in particular.

He stepped around the table as she pushed back her chair and gently took her hand as she rose. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he bowed gallantly.

They left Tjasse's home on the cathedral grounds without any fuss. With their bishop away in Caleria, everyone else was tending quietly to their own business. Only Jek, trimming the trees outside the chapel with a few carefully directed wind spells, said goodbye to them as they left. They headed down the road to the right into the heart of the city.

The more Sarah watched Sasarai, the more she was amused by the feeling that she was walking around with some alternate version of Luc. Sasarai wasn't as driven as his brother. He ambled along cheerfully, smiling at anyone who made eye contact with him. He had a softness about him that was rather appealing. She wondered how much of the difference was personality and how much with circumstance? Did the upbringing make the man?

Although there were a few tables and chairs set outside the rose bushes surrounding the teashop, the main action seemed to inside. Through the rose-colored windows, Sarah could see that the majority of the tables were filled, their patrons a mixture of elderly people running into old friends and lingering to chat and seminary students chattering raucously or furiously cramming facts from their textbooks. The sign hanging over the door read, "The Green Cat." The sign was colored and shaped appropriately.

A small bell on the door jangled as they entered, but the sweet sound was lost in the cheery noise of clinking teacups, shuffling chairs, and the enveloping warmth of friendly talk.

"It's a popular spot," Sarah observed.

"I wouldn't have heard of it if it wasn't," Sasarai replied, "I can't regal you with stories of my school years wasted in this joint. I studied in Crystal Valley, under Bishop T'Rainfellour for the most part. My education was short and to the point. But some local acquaintances of mine turned me onto this place during a visit several years ago and it stood up admirably when measured against my high standards for tea and sweets."

"We'll see about these high standards of yours," she smiled. The way he acted about the whole matter, she was fairly certain he would not be so picky as he claimed. He was acting this way to entertain her. She was absolutely sure of it, particularly because it was working. He was probably a wonderful host at parties.

"Just the two of you?" a waitress, her uniform a pale pink dress covered by a green apron, approached them during the pause in their conversation. "Shall I find you a seat?"

"Actually, I wanted to see if we'd be able to rent out one of the rooms for an hour or so."

The young woman looked from Sasarai to Sarah, smiling knowingly, before giving her response. "I'll go ask the manager."

Sarah put her hands to her cheeks. She was blushing furiously. She understood that look. "That's not why we're here!" she wanted to protest, but she knew acting upset about it wouldn't help her case any.

"Go right ahead," the waitress returned, handing Sasarai a key. "It's the first door on your right."

Squeezing the key tightly in his left hand, Sasarai thanked the waitress, and took Sarah's hand with his right, leading her the crowded teashop in a dance of polite avoidance, skirting a table here, squeezing delicately between chairs there, stepping carefully so as not to bump any tables. They didn't need to be as cautious once they reached the stairs- they were narrow but empty.

"Now everyone is going to get the wrong idea about us," Sarah sighed, finally letting her feelings into the open as Sasarai let go of her hand to unlock the door.

"The wrong idea?" He didn't seem to immediately understand, but it didn't take long for the implications of this whole renting a room thing to sink in. "Oh! ...Oh." He laughed awkwardly, a halting, almost choking sort of sound and held the door open for her. "After you."

Sarah shook her head at his charming frivolity and entered. The room was small, but clean and furnished in a cute style similar to the rest of the establishment. It was the sort of color scheme and feminine look that would've appealed to her during her childhood. "Well, it's not as if anyone here knows us," Sasarai continued.

"That's probably true. But it still doesn't make me feel much better." She sat down gently on the end of the bed.

Sasarai closed the door, put the key into his pocket, and joined her. "Would you feel better if it wasn't the wrong idea they were getting, but the right one?"

"You're joking!" Secretly she wished he wasn't.

"I'm joking." He wasn't entirely. He wondered what he would've done if she had believed him.

"So, do you still want to hear about how I know Lady Bishop Kaeyani, or would rather spend your hour just joking around with me?" Sarah asked. She didn't want to think anymore about his joke. It stirred up a strange mix of conflicting emotions within her. If Master Luc had been more like his brother, she thought, he wouldn't have had such grand ideas about runes and destiny. It wouldn't be hard to have pictured them quietly living the rest of their lives happily at the Magician's Tower. If it weren't for her powers and the things they had caused her to suffer through in Harmonia in the past, it wouldn't be so hard to picture herself living pleasantly with Sasarai in the capital either. It was best to avoid such formulating such trivial fantasies. Nothing was going to make the path before her any easier.

"I guess I can't do both, can I," Sasarai agreed. "I'm sorry to fluster you. Please tell me. I want to know."

"I...I couldn't say I really worked for her. ...It was more like I belonged to her for a while. As a result of some of my...unique abilities, Lady Kaeyani came to my hometown when I was very small. I can't actually remember most of the details. I was too young to understand what it was all about. All the neighbors said I was a witch. I stayed hidden inside with my mother and my grandmother. I thought that at least they loved me. ...But as far as my mother is concerned, it seems that I was wrong. Lady Kaeyani took me away with her that very day and I never saw my family again. It was my own mother who put me into her arms." Although she had begun the story in a manner quite stiff and cold, when she mentioned her mother, a sort of angry heat rose in Sarah's voice and her hands shook slightly.

Although he could not remember his mother (Bishop T'Rainfellour told him she had died when he was quite young), and thus could not make a complete comparison, it certainly didn't seem like what one would expect of one's mother. It had to have been a very traumatic experience. "I'm not sure it was completely the same, but I knew a young woman for quite some time who was under the...guardianship, shall we say, of General Sakurazaki," Sasarai offered, trying to relate to her story, "She had some magical skills that assisted him during his military campaigns."

"It might be something of that sort," she agreed. "I've tried to look into these things a bit since returning to- oh, did I mention I lived out of the country for a while?"

"I don't think so, but it doesn't matter."

"Well, since returning to Harmonia I've tried to investigate these searches for..." she sighed, "talent, I suppose. It isn't an easy subject to learn about, particularly when one doesn't want to be recognized, but it seems to be an interest shared these days by Bishops Kaeyani and Sakurazaki."

"And you still have these abilities," he surmised.

"Yes," Sarah answered.

"Do you use them now to support the masked bishop? Although I haven't seen it for myself, I've heard that you quietly take care of many things for him."

"I do," she confided softly. I didn't sound like he was going to press her about the nature of her abilities, which was a relief. That was a subject she would have to refuse to discuss. It was too near to the nature of Master Luc's plans and might arose unnecessary curiosity in this kind bishop. There were not many innocent excuses to be made for why one went to read the words of the Sindar that marked their ruins.

"There's one more thing I'd like to know," he began again. Sarah waited to hear what he would say. There was a good possibility it would still be something she could answer. "While you still...belonged to Lady Kaeyani, did you ever live at the Temple? ...Because, if you did, I think I...remember you."

That certainly had not been within the list of possibilities she had imagined him inquiring about. Her pale eyes widened slightly, her thick lashes lifting away from their usual place, gently shadowing her eyes. She met his gaze and saw that his eyes were wide too, although this was not so strange on him. "I did, toward the end. Though I don't ever remember seeing you."

"Well, when was this? Around 461 or '62? I wasn't very prominent at the time. And I certainly wouldn't have been involved in any of Olia's projects. It was already basically established that she was not going to be able to manipulate me, so I wouldn't have known who you really were or why you were there." He was speaking faster and faster as the memories came streaming back to him. Sarah was trapped in his gaze, hanging on his every word. He had remembered her? A person who should've been struck from the official records with her departure? It was fascinating!

"It had to have been you." As ridiculous as it seemed that he could retrieve such as tiny fragment of memory after all these years, he was sure that this was no flight of fancy but a true, unembellished memory. "You were so small, but you were dressed as nicely as that other little girl I would see with Olia- that was her niece, Anya, I think."

"I knew Anya," Sarah said. Her words did nothing to break the spell. "Though I wasn't really ever given the opportunity to talk to her. Sometimes she traveled with us, but Lady Kaeyani always split her time between Anya and me. I might've looked like I was dressed nicely to you, but I was always wearing her hand-me-downs. I wished that I had Anya's life. She looked so happy."

He didn't have the heart to tell her that last he had heard, Anya Kaeyani was still quite privileged and happy. Instead, he began to continue spilling out his recollections, "That day I saw you, you were surrounded by Olia's people. They were going between buildings on the Temple grounds, and a blond man- I think his name is Gabriel- was holding your hand. You looked so solemn for your age. It sort of resonated with me. Like it reminded me of someone I had known in the past, but I still can't remember who. I..." he smiled again, "I don't think you even looked at me. Not that you would've remembered even if you did. Not that it mattered. I didn't do or say anything. I suppose back then, even when I had doubts, I was always just watching."

"It doesn't matter that I never saw you then. It wouldn't have made any difference. What matters is...that you remember now. That you're thinking about me now." Sarah reached out gingerly, as if to touch his hand, but recoiled at the last minute, too shy to go even that far.

"I'm more than just thinking about you," Sasarai stated, strong and steady. He must've seen her gesture, as he grabbed her hand. "You've invaded my thoughts. I care about you, Sarah."

She was startled, mentally jumping back in time to that stormy day when Master Luc took her from the Temple. An outstretched hand. A calm gaze. An invitation. This time she hadn't even been given a complete chance to accept. He hugged her close and she buried her face against his neck. He smelled like sandalwood and ink. The smell of paperwork and the Temple. Why was he so, so kind?

She felt so small and weak in his arms. Whenever someone so weak came to him in supplication he had to listen to them. But that didn't mean he necessarily acted on what they said to the full extent of his power. This- this was different. He wished there was some way he could take away the pain that marked her lovely eyes. There was no way he could turn back time. There was nothing he could tell Olia Kaeyani to cause her to make peace with her former tool. All he could give was himself. "You smell like violets."

Sarah raised her head slightly and tipped it to the side to look him in the eyes. Opening up like this had been a risk. And maybe it had been worth taking. She had been afraid that the smallest show of weakness would break her resolve and tear her strength to bits, but perhaps she had been wrong. She didn't feel quite so weak anymore. Sharing her heart had strengthened it. ...would that she could share it all.

"Would you come to work for me? Not as a sorceress or a miracle-worker, but just as a plain, everyday assistant. So that we could be together and really get to know each other. I would protect you, of course. I would put all my resources into it. And I'm stronger than I was then. I can stand up to Olia. I can stand up to all of them. No one could harm you." He made these vows as easily as if he had known her all his life. To let her go now without saying these things, without at least asking, would be the biggest mistake he could possibly make.

He meant it all so sincerely. He was speaking to her with his whole heart. Sarah had never experienced this feeling of temptation before. She had always seen just one path in life, the same path as Master Luc. Now with another opportunity opening up before her, one where she would be supported, not the supporter, she found herself faltering. It would be so nice. So nice to just give in. To try and be happy with Sasarai.

How could one say no to this depth of emotion? ...But Master Luc remained in her heart. All he had done for her, all the times they had spent together, all that she had promised him... She couldn't just throw that away. She wasn't like Yuber or Albert. He trusted her completely. She could not discard that trust.

She pushed away from him gently and he loosened his grip around her until they sat separately on the bed once more. "I...it's not a choice I can take lightly. And it doesn't mean that I don't feel anything for you or think your offer is empty. ...But I have prior obligations. I can't, Sasarai. I just can't."

"I understand," he said. He wasn't really sure he did. He had never felt such strong personal loyalty to anyone as Sarah did for Luc. But he wanted to be fair and to empathize with her. "It's not something I can force you to do."

"Please understand," Sarah repeated softly. She hoped she hadn't wounded him too deeply. She doubted there was anything else she could say to him now, so she looked down at the wooden floorboards and waited to see what would happen next. Would he say anything else or would he just leave? She didn't know him well enough to guess.

He folded his hands and gazed at them solemnly. She would've guessed he was praying if his eyes hadn't looked so distant then. "I was thinking that I'd stay the night here in Han'Nyac. If we can conduct our business here, that will be fine, and if not, I'll head up to Campanella tomorrow."

So he was trying to brush it off and move on. It wasn't a bad move. They would still need to work together. And it wasn't as if they still didn't have feelings for each other. It was only that this optimistic dream of his had been set aside. "I don't think we'll need to go to Campanella," Sarah told him. "And it won't take long either. I just need to lay out for you what Master Luc has set up so far for the invasion."

"Sounds like no trouble at all." He swung his arms and hopped to his feet, both black boots hitting the floor at the same time. He turned around to face her. Now he was smiling- not quite the overflowing ebullience of when he first saw her on the steps of the cathedral, but it was still something. He held out his hand to her and when she took it and he pulled her to her feet, Sarah found that she was smiling too.

"You, um, you don't think you'd mind sticking around with me tonight, would you?" he asked tentatively.

"No, not at all," she replied.


End file.
